"listen to the colour of your dreams"

so last night i had a dream that everywhere my boyfriend and i went people kept yelling at us. We were at school, and every time he tried to hold my hand or hug me or anything, this certain teacher would follow us around and yell at us to stop. We then went to my house and my dad was doing the same thing! while the dream is silly, it still frustrated me and really pointed something out. Too many extra people are involved in my relationship. just yesterday, my sister made some comment about marsh and it bothered me all day and made me question our whole relationship up to this point. no one should have that much power over a relationship they're not even in. no one. basically, having this dream proved to be somewhat of a wake up call for me.

kissing in cars.

one car, two different kisses. one forced, full of aggression and too much tongue, and one sweet and simple and wrapped in promises of a future. two different guys, two different times.
Last winter, I wanted love so bad I let anyone in hoping it'd work. My dear ladies, this is never a good idea. Putting myself in that vulnerable of a position only leads to one thing: being taken advantage of. After a winter of pain and not being able to get in my car without thinking of said boy and the night he shoved his tongue down my throat, February came and I finally decided to pick myself up again. Though I wanted love, I gave up hope.
Spring is officially here and I've never wanted love any less than I do now, but isn't that the time when it finds you the most? well here i am, waiting for the boy who wins my heart more and more every day to come pick me up. he might not be the usual kind of guy i date, but he's loving and gentle. oh how i need gentle. so here's to giving the unlikely candidates chances and letting my heart lead over my head.
and he's here.